Monday, January 11, 2010

Eagles Eulogy: Ver. '09-'10

Yeah well, I never thought I would say it, but I am finished (for real) watching this sub-par team the Eagles keep trotting out onto the feel in an attempt to-- what-- fool the fans into thinking they're serious? Excuse me?? Philly fans?? Are they nuts?!

I don't know, but I do know that I have had it.

Too much time and emotion invested for the return I have gotten over the years. And good, now I have three extra hours a week that I can do something with other than scream at a losing football team.

The Eagles organization owes me (conservatively) $72,000. Here's why: 70 hours/season (not counting the off-hour agita) TIMES 34 years of loyal fandom EQUALS 2400 total hours (rounded up from 2380) TIMES $30/hour (low) EQUALS $72,000 ($108,000 if we count Sunday time as time and a half; $144,000 double-time).

There is no consolation this time... there is no getting rid of anyone, both Reid and McNabb are locked up at least through next season... so a losing effort isn't going to cost anyone their job... there's no motivation to succeed, and they're too stubborn to realize it's time to move on... the Donovan McNabb/Andy Reid era is done.

And-- for now-- so am I.


Eulogy Ver. '08-'09 (sadly, still applicable):

Raise your glass to the Iggles
All those of you bleeding green
Ten years of Reid and McNabb
Is quickly becoming obscene

Offseason comes to us early
Two weeks too soon for this town
Football has ended in Philly
Bringing us Iggles fans down

"Wait until next season!" echoes
Up and down Broad Street today
It's become more of a mantra
Really, there's nothing to say

Time to trim up this turkey
And say goodbye to some friends
Maybe we'll see them in Dallas
Landing a Superbowl win

So put away all of the jerseys
And wrap up the tailgates and such
Donovan and company blew it
They let us down in the clutch

But hey, we've still got the Phillies
Na, it ain't quite the same
Oh well, wait until next season
(remember-- it's just a game)

E-A-G-L-E-S-- ah, forget it.

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