Cellular Blackout

AP- Drexel Hill, PA

IN AN UNPRECEDENTED AND

ultimately extraordinary

move, the school board

has voted unanimously to

adopt “The Net Policy”

district-wide starting

with the 2012-2013 school

year.  The Net (known in

the technical world as a

cBOS Device (cell Black

Out Server Device- above)

will effectively block

all incoming and outgoing

cell signals within a

half-mile radius.  “It’s

not new,” Assistant Super-

intendent Negary was quoted

as saying. “The tech has

been around as long as cell

phones.” United Telephony

of Delaware County gave the

nod to install the device,

which will act in effect as

a ‘negative WiFi,’blocking

instead of propagating

signals.  Students who heard

the early reports were,

predictably, not happy.

“Stop trying to bleeping

play me, bleeping bleephole,”

was the pervasive response.

One anonymous administrator,

when asked for a comment,

quipped: “It’s like taking

the school back in time to

the 1970’s.” A wish that,

perhaps, is now one step

closer to reality.